So you think 2019 will be easier on you than 2018? I highly doubt that. Life is a daily challenge and the calendar year has nothing to do with how you handle life challenges.
It boils down to how you deal with challenges. You either:
- Freeze from feelings of overwhelm.
- Freeze from fear of failing.
- Run away when you stop making progress.
- Try to control your situation by making harsh rules/rituals for yourself.
- Try to control your situation with emotional eating or drinking or drugs.
- Take action. This is the correct approach. IDENTIFY what is making your feel anxious, sad, frustrated or angry. EXPEL it from your body. Verbalizing it is great, but not enough. Get physical with aggressive exercise! Let it ALL out. Watch the VLOG below for more details.
How do you put an end to self-sabotage? I figured this out when answering your questions in my latest Q&A VLOG (posted below).
It all boils down to your perception of failure.
How You Perceive Failure Matters...
Overachievers absolutely must achieve the desired outcome. Since they base their worthiness on achieving, this makes it very difficult for them to contend with failure. That is why overachievers are very anxious people, always fixated on the future and how they can avoid undesirable outcomes. Succeeding is how they overcome self-doubt, and this provides them with a tremendous sense of relief. Because overachievers view everything as important, they have a hard time prioritizing what to focus on, and this can cause tremendous anxiety and "paralysis by analysis". Overachievers always have something they must do, and they create many anxiety-inducing rules for themselves.
Fear of Failure: This happens when your motivation to avoid failure exceeds your motivation to succeed. I have a friend who is so anxious about the possibility of failing, that he won't even try. This is because failing makes him feel fear and shame. He'd rather deny himself opportunities than risk disappointing people.
High Performers embrace failure as part of the process. Failure is how they learn and grow. They strive for progress instead of perfection and they live in the present. They know how to strategize: they know when to wait (they are patient), when to attack and when to change direction. Remember the tortoise and the hare? "slow and steady wins the race".
Homework #1: I challenge you change the way you perceive failure so that you can become a high performer. Failure is the most important step to reaching success.
Homework #2: I challenge you to keep your thoughts in the present. Catch yourself when you start thinking about the past or worrying about the future.
Here are my diet recommendations. If it weren't for all of my failures, I never would have figured this out:
- Make one small change at a time. If you decide to start intermittent fasting, then make this your only initial diet change. Try skipping breakfast for 2 weeks and see how you feel (note: It may take you a few weeks to gradually increase the duration of your fast from 12 to 16 hours, but you can do this because you are a high performer capable of strategizing!). But if you also decide to cut carbs and follow a restrictive meal plan at the same time, then how will you know what is working/not working for you? ... because you changed too many variables!! I have a hunch you will get results just from skipping breakfast. That's a win because you didn't even have to change your diet! Only make a change when something is not working well for you.
- Don't do anything you know you cannot maintain. Can you see yourself doing any of the following for the rest of your life? I know I can't. So I don't do any of these things:
- Avoiding carbs
- Tracking calories and macros (I understand this helps when first learning, but eventually, you must wean off of this).
- Following a meal plan
- Segregating macros (remember, food is a combination of macronutrients, so good luck with that)
- Meal prepping
- Demonizing specific foods
- Eating in a calorie deficit
- Fasting for more than 20 hours a day
- Don't follow too many diet rules. Rules cause anxiety, and this leads to ritualistic behaviour. Only follow 1 or 2 rules that you know you can maintain for the rest of your life. For example, I always break my fast at the same time every day (never earlier). I've been able to do that since 2012 without experiencing any anxiety.
- Address your mental state. Did you know that stress causes water retention? If you are not getting results, it's probably because something is off mentally. It doesn't matter how perfectly you follow the diet, if you are anxious or sad, you will not get results. I recommend you take action to contend with your mental state: this means expressing your emotions with movement (e.g. tossing some sandbags, pushing a sled).
- Establish profound intent. If you are only following a diet to lose weight as quickly as possible, then you are doomed to fail. Instant results are never lasting results (because instant results are never produced by maintainable practices). Let me tell you my daily dietary intent: to have a healthy relationship with food so that I can enjoy it (in moderation) without feeling anxious. My diet is not even a blip on my radar. That's why I'm having success.
- Grocery shop with intent: if it's in your house, it's in your stomach.
Make Food Trade-offs: You can't eat everything and get away with it, unless you have a tapeworm! If you want to eat a ton of carbs, then back off the alcohol and fats. If you want to drink a boatload of alcohol, then stick to protein. If you want to eat a ton of fatty foods, then back off the alcohol and carbs. That's how I approach my diet ... it's all about food trade-offs. But I'm not anal about this. For example, I don't ruin special holiday feasts with rules. One day won't ruin your physique. Live a little ... and practice moderation the rest of the time.
My Top Recipes:
Here are my most popular recipes. They are really easy to make.
My Top 2 Home Gym Equipment Recommendations:
- My pink Buddy Lee Jump Rope
- My 60 pound Sandbag
Happy New Year!